Professionals

Bereavement is a part of life.

If you are supporting a grieving child or young person often your first concern is to get things right and not to cause further distress.  All bereaved children benefit from having a supportive response from their existing networks, if you can – take time to listen and show that you care.

It is helpful to remember that most bereaved children do not need additional support for their grief when those around them acknowledge their loss, have information about how children grieve, what can help and know when to seek further support.

What can you do to help?

These are some things that we know can be helpful for young people and their families:

• Provide information for parents/carers about how the person died.
• Provide information for parents/carers on how children grieve.
• Suggest tools which may help parents/carers to talk to their children e.g. books.
• Be prepared to give time to both children and parents/carers.
• Encourage the parents/carers to involve the child in the funeral.
• Help the child to express feelings (games and books help).
• When the time feels right for the children it can be helpful to make memory boxes and journals to help the child to still feel connected to the deceased.
• Offer opportunities to meet other bereaved families and young people – signpost to bereavement support groups where they can meet others in a similar situation.

Encourage Families to:

• Be open and honest with the children.
• Talk to children using words they understand.
• Avoid using expressions like “we are going to lose mummy” which can be confusing for very young children.
• Remember that children need information a bit at a time.
• Encourage children to ask questions.
• Answer questions honestly and simply.
• Find ways to involve the children and give them some choices to help them feel in control in a world that has felt ‘out of control’.
• Keep routine and boundaries in place for children – these help their world feel predictable, when an unpredictable thing has happened.
• Not be afraid to ask for help and give them ideas of where to get the appropriate support they need.
• Involve the school.
• Help their child have hope for the future, reassurance from the parent/carer that it is going to be ok and they can still have hopes and dreams.