How You May Be Feeling…
Someone close to you may have died and you may have all sorts of feelings, they may be muddled up. These feelings may be quite strong and intense, it is quite normal to have these feelings.
Death and dying
Sometimes people get very ill and die. Everyone tries very hard to help them to get better. But sometimes, however hard everyone tries, we cannot stop someone from dying. It is very sad. It can also make us feel very angry, and lots of other things too.
Do you know someone who has been ill and died?
When someone special dies
We will not forget someone special when they die. They were too important. And we need to remember, even though it is sometimes very hard. Could you find someone to talk to about what happened? Would it help you to remember your Special Person? Or maybe you could talk to a favourite pet?
Talking about dying
It can be very sad talking about dying. Some children and young people are scared too. But it is horrid to keep your feelings stuck inside you. Grown-up adults often find this hard too. This is a difficult time for everyone.
Sometimes we have worrying feelings, or thoughts, or questions, or nightmares. They stay inside us and we don’t know whether to talk about them or not.
We often feel that it is our fault if someone takes their life, but it never is.
Suicide happens when someone is very ill inside their mind in a special sort of way, and then they decide that no-one can help them. Sometimes we worry that the person took their life because of us. If you are thinking this it would be a good idea to talk about this.
There are lots of ways to help us remember someone who has died. We may want to think about this at once, or we may want to wait. Here are some ideas; and you may be able to think of some of your own:
- Make a memory box: Collect special things together that remind you of you Special Person.
- Make a memory book with: Photos, letters, poems, pictures etc.
- Make a tape of the persons favourite music.
- Talk to people with other memories to add to yours or ask them to find photos letters or other things to add to you memory book. Or you could record them talking about their memories.
- What else could you do? What does remembering mean to you?
Remember the leaves falling from the trees? Winter can seem very long… and very dark. Sadness can seem very long and very dark too. But light does come back. Happiness comes back too. Maybe not exactly the same; but you will know happiness again. In the winter the seeds are resting quietly in the earth, waiting to grow in the spring. Winter is a time when nature rests… and watches… and waits. Winter is a time for being cosy.
And so too, in your sadness there will be people to keep you safe and warm. Spring will come. Your Special Person will live in your memories, and help to make you the precious person you are. Sadness will get easier. The sunshine will come back.